Nobody's Fool
by wyredsisters
Summary: We were reading a d/g fic, and thought, 'Hey, let's make fun it' So we wrote this. We like it. We laugh at it. So should you. Please review. It's really, really funny so please read it!
1. The Beginning

Nobody's Fool

****

Disclaimer:  No!  We are not an obscenely rich woman sitting in England laughing at all her fans that think she is even planning on writing the fifth book.  We're just two sisters in America with _nothing_ to read.  We also don't own the song.  Wish we did.  We don't.  Boo Hoo.  Read our story now.

A/N:  We would like to dedicate this story to all d/g writers.  We've used lines that we've heard in just about every single d/g fic.  If we used your line, we're sorry and we'll never do it again.  Not to mention this is a parody, so it's allowed.  Read and Review!  It's not that hard.  Just click on that little button at the bottom of your screen, and type something!  Enjoy.

Ginny Weasley ran from the Great Hall, in tears.  She couldn't believe that she had embarrassed herself in front of Harry again.  She was running at top speed when she suddenly ran into something, which knocked her straight onto the floor.

"Well, well, well.  What do we have here?  It's the littlest weasel."

"Go to hell, Malfoy."  Malfoy couldn't help noticing how much she had grown up over the summer.  And Ginny couldn't help wondering why he looked so much cuter this year, then he had before.  Ginny pulled herself into a sitting position.

"Ah, ha!  The weasel grew fangs."  Malfoy looked down his nose as he watched her stand up.  Her long, dark red hair looked even smoother then it had before.

"Figures you wouldn't even try to help me up."

"Were you even expecting that I would?"

"I guess not; you never change."  Their eyes locked.  Ginny was thinking how boyish Harry looked compared to Draco.  Then she momentarily chastised herself for calling him Draco, but that didn't last long.  Soon she was just lost in the icy blue of his eyes.

"Draco, are you rebelling from your father," said Ginny leaning forward shaking her shoulders.  "Because if you did, I might just risk my entire family's mental stability just to be with you."

"Ok, stop it right there!  First of all, your family has no mental stability.  Second, why the hell would I rebel against my father.  He's bloody rich!  And third, who wrote this crap?"

**"We did.  And that's not your line.  Your line is, 'That sounds just peachy, Virginia Weasley,'" **the authors' voices boomed.

"Well it sucks.  Can you hand me a microphone, Weasley?"  Ginny does what she is told.  And Draco, quite randomly, breaks out into song.

_"Fall back take a look at me and you'll see_

_I'm for real I feel what only I can feel_

_And if that don't appeal to ya let me know_

_And I'll go cause I flow better when my colors show_

_And that's the way it has to be honestly _

_Cause creativity could never bloom in my room_

_I'd throw it all way before I lie so don't call me with a compromise_

_Hang up the phone I got a back bone stronger than yours"_

Ginny and Hermione, who miraculously appeared from nowhere, sung the la la la's that fallow.

_"La la la... yeah..."_

Draco then continues, with Hermione and Ginny singing back up.

_"If you're trying to turn me into someone else it's easy to see_

_ I'm not down with that, I'm nobody's fool_

_If you're trying to turn me into something else_

_ I've seen it enough and I'm over that _

_I'm nobody's fool _

_ If you wanna bring me down go ahead and try_

_Don't know you think you know me like yourself _

_But I fear that you're only telling me what I want to hear_

_But do you give a damn understand that I can't not be what I am _

_I'm not the milk and cheerios in your spoon it's not a simple_

_Here we go not soon _

_I'm might have fallen for that when I was fourteen and a little more green _

_But it's amazing what a couple of years can mean _

Draco stops here again, because he is way to manly to sing this part.

_"lalala... yeah..."_

He decided that it is safe to sing again, and resumes.

_"If you're trying to turn me into someone else it's easy to see_

_I'm not down with that, I'm nobody's fool_

_If your trying to turn me into something else_

_I've see it enough and I'm over that_

_I'm nobody's fool_

_If you wanna bring me down, go ahead and try_

_go ahead and try_

_ try to look me in the eye _

_Go ahead and try_

_ try to look me in the eye_

_but you'll never see in side _

_until you realize... _

_things are trying to settle down_

_ just trying to figure out _

_exactly what I'm about _

_if it's with or without you _

_I don't your doubt in me"_

"**We have rewritten the story.  Draco runs way from Hogwarts, moves to Hollywood, and starts a musical career.  Is that better?"**

Draco turned towards Ginny and said "That sounds just peachy, Virginia Weasley."

A/N:  We know that you loved it.  How could you not love it?  We wrote it!  Now all you need to do is click the little go button and type something.  Anything!  Just let us know that you read it.  You can say that you didn't like it, or the much preferred review stating that you absolutely loved it and thought it was hilarious.  The choice is yours!


	2. The Script

Chapter 2

The Script

Disclaimer:  Wouldn't it be funny if J. K. Rowling did write fanfiction, and had to write a disclaimer?  What would she say?  "I don't own any of this; it all belongs to me!"  Anyways, we're not.  We know.  Don't sue.  Unless you feel like it, then we can be our own defense attorneys.  It'll be fun.

A/N: This story starts where the other one left off.  If you need help remembering, Draco just succumbed (fun word) to us, the authors, and said a very stupid line.  It was "That sounds just peachy, Virginia Weasley."

**"Good, next line Draco."**

"I don't know my next line," Draco complained.

"**Why not?  You are supposed to know your lines."**

"Well, can I look at the script?"

"**Fine," **we agreed.  Characters who don't know there lines annoy us.

_Draco:  That sounds just peachy, Virginia Weasley._

_Ginny:  Great!  I'll go tell my brother!  (Flips her long, straight, green hair over her shoulder and turns to leave)_

_Draco:  Wait!  (grabs her hand, which is decorated with a bracelet with spikes) Your brother doesn't like me._

_Ginny:  Right.  Maybe we should keep this a secret._

_Draco:  Good idea.  We'll tell him after I put my dad in Azkaban, and get on your family's good side._

_Ginny:  Sounds like a plan!  ( She flipped her long, curly, red hair over her shoulder)  I'll see you in potions, because I'm so brainy I skipped a grade._

_Draco:  Yes, maybe you can be my partner for today and nobody will notice anything strange._

"What a load of crap!"

**"What do you mean?" **

"I mean that her hair was green a second ago and now it's red."

**"Yes, well, we couldn't decide whether she should be a rebel, or a goody-two-shoes.  Just keep reading."**

_Draco:  But before you leave, remember that I'll never let go of your memory.  I'll never let go, Ginny._

_Ginny:  Oh, Draco!   (Runs to kiss him)_

_Ron:  Oy!  What the hell are you doing?_

_Ginny:  Um, hi, Ron.  You're not mad are you?_

_Ron:  No, of course not!  I could tell that you've been in love with Draco for years!_

_Harry:  Hey, Ginny.  Draco, old buddy!  How are you doing?_

_Draco:  Not bad.  (Turns to Ginny.  Softly,)  Are you and Harry together, 'cause…  (Suddenly he starts to sing, with Harry and Ron doing back up.)_

_"I don't know what he does to make you cry_

_But I'll be there to make you smile_

_I don't have a fancy broom_

_To get to you, I'd walk a thousand miles_

_I don't care if he buys you nice things_

_Does his gifts come from the heart?_

_I don't know_

_But if you were my girl, I'd make it_

_So we'd never be apart_

_But my love is all_

_I have to give_

_Without you I don't_

_think I could live_

_I wish I could give the world to you_

_But love is all I have to give_

_When you talk _

_Does it seem like he's not_

_even listening to a word you say_

_That's ok baby_

_Just tell me your problems_

_I'll try my best to kiss them all away_

_Does he leave when you need him the most?_

_Do his friends take all your time_

_Baby please_

_I'm on my knees_

_Praying for day that you'll be mine_

_But my love is all I have to give_

_Without you I don't_

_Think I could live_

_I wish I could give the world to you_

_But love is all I have to give to you_

_Hey girl_

_Ohhh_

_I don't want you to cry no more_

_All the money in the world_

_Could never add up to all the love that I have inside_

_Out of you_

_baby_

_and I will give it to you_

_all I can give_

_all I can give_

_all_

_Everything I have is for you_

_you, you, you, you_

_What I need_

_My love is all that I have to give_

_My love is all that I have to give_

_Without you I don't think I could live_

_I wish I could give the world to you_

_but love is all I have to give_

_all I have to give_

_My love is all that I have to give_

_Without you I don't think I could live_

_I wish I could give the world to you_

_but love is all I have to give_

_to you_

_Oh, oh, oh_

_All I have to give_

_Without you I don't think I could live_

_give the world to you_

_but love is all I have to give_

_That's all I go to give_

_My love is all that I have to give_

_Without you I don't think I could live_

_I wish I could give the world to you_

_but love is all I have to give"_

_Ginny: No, Harry and I are not together. (Pushes glasses up over her nose and runs a hand through her short, wavy, orange hair)_

"You people are nuts!" Draco cried.

"**We are not!"**

"You are too!  I would never sing Backstreet Boys!  They're gay!  And what the hell was that crap about never letting go!  It sounded like a bad muggle movie!"

"It was," Hermione said tonelessly.  She and Ginny were still there, watching with a keen interest.

**"You were just singing Avril Lavigne!  You have no right to call people gay!"**

"I will not say this."

**"We'll send you to Hollywood, remember.  There you can start a career as a singer.  We might even make you impersonate Pink!"**

"Fine!  As long as I don't have to say anything nice about Potter!"

A/N:  We would like to thank:

All of our reviewers for inspiring us to write another chapter to this story

Our father for leaving us sitting outside the ice skating rink for an hour with nothing to do but plan this story

Draco Forever More (Araz) for hopefully not freaking when she realizes that we were making fun of most of her stories when we wrote this

And the Backstreet Boys for hopefully not freaking when we called them gay.  Actually, Draco did, but that's not he point.

And our reviewers (again) for responding so quickly to the story.  I guess the humor readers are faster then the romance readers.

We apologize if you think that we were making fun of your story.  We actually enjoy D/G and write some, ourselves.  But we just had to write this funny little thing.  There will be one more chapter after this.  We'll have it done in about a week.


	3. The Preformance

A/N:  We have gone way past Backstreet Boys and Avril, now.  Today you will read something that we are sure you have never read before.  Draco Malfoy will be singing…WOULDN'T YOU LIKE TO KNOW!  You'll have to find out.  Oh, and we didn't use Pink because she is too depressing to make fun of.  If you want a Harry Potter character singing Pink, you have to Read our other story, Once More With Feeling: Harry Potter Story.  Cheers.

Disclaimer:  HA!  If you think we're J. K. Rowling, you're insane!  We're not!  And we didn't write the song that Draco sings here either!  You'll have to find out who does, later.

Chapter  3

Draco brushed on his makeup and glared at the ceiling.  "I hate you guys for this!" he yelled, fingering his now long blonde hair.

**"All you had to do was finish the script.  But, no!  You had to go and get all cranky and make us write a whole other chapter!"**

"But, I still don't understand how this happened," he whined.

**"That's easy.  Dobby, who was angry at you for kicking him brutally out of the way when he was making your bed ten years ago, decided to get revenge.  He and Jar-Jar Binks looked up this curse that turns you into someone else, and in this case, it was Brittany Spears."**

"You really suck at writing plots, you know.  Why didn't you just say that I was kidnapped by wild monkeys who thought that I was their long lost prince and insisted on feeding me rotten bananas everyday?  Then you could have made me escape by disguising myself as Brittany Spears and then got picked up by some groupies who took me to my next concert!"

**"Ooh!  Script change!"**

Draco growled at the ceiling, when the manager came in.  "You have five minuets," he said and then slammed the door behind him.  Draco growled once more, but then fixed his silver tank top and bright pink, leather pants.

"How can I change back?"

**"You just have to sing one song, and then you will morph back into your self."**

"I hate you.  You said I would be Pink," he grumbled as he made his way out to the stage.  He looked around at the cheering crowd and began to sing.

_" used to think_

_I had the answers to everything_

_But now I know_

_That life doesn't always_

_Go my way_

_Yeah_

_"Feels like I'm caught in the middle_

_That when I realize_

_I'm not a girl_

_Not yet a woman_

_All I need is time_

_A moment that is mine_

_While I'm in between_

_I'm not a girl_

_"There is no need to protect me_

_It's time that I_

_Learned to face up to this_

_On my own_

_I've seen so much more then you know_

_now_

_So don't tell me to shut my eyes_

_"I'm not a girl_

_Not yet a woman_

_All I need is time_

_A moment that is mine_

_While I'm in between_

_"I'm not a girl_

_But if you look at me closely_

_You will see it in my eyes_

_This girl will always find_

_Her way_

_I'm not a girl_

_I'm not a girl don't tell me what to believe_

_Not yet a woman_

_I'm just trying to find the woman in me_

_All I need is time_

_That is mine_

_While I'm in between_

_I'm not a girl_

_Not yet a woman_

_Not now_

_All I need is time_

_A moment that is mine_

_While I'm in between_

_I'm not a girl_

_Not yet a woman"_

Everyone clapped when he finished.  Draco, of course, was changing back and ran off the stage as not to disappoint his adoring fans.  Once in his dressing room, however, he found that he wasn't alone.  "Hermione!"

"Draco, don't make a sound.  If you do she'll know I'm in here."

"Who?"  Draco asked before the door burst open and a very angry Ginny was standing there.

"You whore!  You knew Draco was my man and yet you come prancing in here like the slut you are!"  Ginny reached out and slapped  Hermione.

"Me?  I told you that I was deeply in love with Draco way before you decided to lay you bitchy eyes on him!"  Hermione slapped Ginny back.  Then Ron burst through the door.

"What the hell are you doing in here?"

"We are in control of our own life, Ron!"  They both turned to yell at him.

"That's not what I mean!  I mean that I wanted Draco for myself!"

"Oy vey," Draco moaned as he put his hands over his ears.  Above, he could here laughing.  The evil laughter of the authors who put him in situations like this every day.

Disclaimer 2: Brittany Spears sings that song and would collect the money that we earned from it if we earned any money.  This is the end of the story.  Don't ask us to write anymore!  We have six other stories to write and this was only supposed to be 1 chapter long!


	4. The Debate

Chapter 4

I'm too Sexy

A/N:  Okay, so we lied.  Deeply sorry.  We said we wouldn't write another chapter, as you can see.  We decided against it, because we got another idea.  This should be fun.

Disclaimer: You could sue us, but we're broke.

The four of them were still standing in the room.  Hermione and Ginny were having a catfight, and Ron was trying to break them up while saying that he wanted Draco.

Suddenly the door burst open and Harry walked in.

"Oh no," Draco said.  "Not you too."

Hermione spoke.  "What are you doing here, Harry?"

Harry looked confused.  "I didn't really have a choice.  Everything outside this room sort of disappeared."

The laughter of the authors sounded again.  And Draco shook his head.

Harry spoke again, "Why does everyone like Draco?" He put his hand on his hip, and gave an arrogant smile.  "What about me?"

This time Draco burst out laughing.  "I'm so much sexier than you."

"Are not!"

"Are too!"

"Are not!"

"What on earth is the point of this?" Draco yelled to the authors above him.

**"Well, there is this whole debate going on among the female fans about who is sexier, you or Harry.  It tied, so now you two are going to duel it out."**

"And how are we going to do that?"

**"Obviously you are going to sing."**

"Malfoy," Harry said, "who are you talking too?"

"You mean, you can't hear them?" Draco asked.

"Hear who?" Harry was now looking at Draco as though he was insane.

"The authors!  They just turned me into Brittany Spears!  And now their going to make us sing to decide who is sexier!"

The authors laughed again as Harry took a somewhat frightened step away from Draco.

"No one has said anything but you and me.  And what do you mean, 'decide' there is no question.  I'm to sexy to even have this conversation."

Draco probably could have come up with a witty response, but he soon started to sing.

_"I'm to sexy for Ginny_

_Too sexy for Ginny_

_Even in New Guinea"_

_"I'm to sexy for my wand_

_Too sexy for my wand_

_Especially in a pond"_

_"Well, I am to sexy for London_

_Too sexy for London_

_Wow, the was redundant"_

_"We are enemies, you know what we mean_

_And we fight all the time in Hogwarts_

_Yeah, in Hogwarts, yeah_

_We squabble all the time in Hogwarts"_

_"I am to sexy for my robes,_

_Too sexy for my robes_

_Even to sexy for clothes"_

_"Well, I am too sexy for my hat_

_Too sexy for my hat_

_Whacha think about that?"_

_"We are enemies, you know what we mean_

_And we fight all the time around Hogwarts_

_Yeah, around Hogwarts, yeah_

_We bicker all the time around Hogwarts_

_"We are enemies, you know what we mean_

_And we fight all the time outside Hogwarts_

_Yeah, outside Hogwarts, yeah_

_We insult each other outside Hogwarts"_

_"I am too sexy for my hair_

_Too sexy for my hair_

_It's better then that of a care bear"_

_"I am to sexy for Hermione_

_Too sexy for Hermione,_

_Cheese, and Ivory" _Draco smiled confidently at his remark.

_"Well, I am too sexy for this song."  _Harry finished as the music ended.

"Hey!  Not fair!  I wanted the last word!" Draco complained.

"Too bad, Malfoy.  You lost."  Harry smirked as Ron, Hermione, and Ginny all crowded around him, giving them congratulations.

"What about me?  I though you all liked me?" Draco asked confused as the authors laughed from above.

"Oh, you are so two minuets ago," Ginny said, touching Harry's arm, flirtingly.

"So, who do you like best, Harry?" Ron said in a sweet voice.

"Yeah, you have to pick," Hermione stated.

"Well, Ginny."  Harry had picked.  "I mean, its obvious we're going to get together in the end of the books."

"Unless I die," Ginny stated.

"Right, unless you die."

"Wait a minuet!" Draco shouted to the ceiling.  "I thought this was a Draco/Ginny fic!  Remember the script?"

"**You hated the script, remember?  So, we changed it.  Ron and Hermione will get together as well,**" The authors stated as Ron and Hermione threw their arms around each other in a passionate embrace.

"Who's left for me?"  Draco suddenly felt very alone.

"**We though you wanted to be alone.  Remember the whole 'Nobody's Fool' thing from chapter 1?"**

"I changed my mind.  Could I have Cho?"

"**Cho?**"

"Well, she is hot.  Not to mention I've always been a sucker for angst ridden relationships.  She'll be dating the son of the right hand man to the guy that killed her ex.  I like it!"

"**We have a better idea,**" the authors claimed.  And with that, Voldemort appeared into the dressing room.  He pointed is wand at Harry and muttered the killing curse.  Harry fell to the floor, dead.  Voldemort promptly dissapperated.  "**There you go.  You get Ginny and a very angst ridden relationship about how bad she feels that her boyfriend was killed by Lord Voldemort.  Everybody's happy.**"

"Except me!" Harry called from the floor, still dead.

"**Except Harry,**" the authors corrected.

"Hey, Draco," Ginny said, slinking up to him.

"Why me?" Draco muttered.

A/N:  You know it's hilarious.  Please review.


End file.
